Pappu: Dad, please make an international call to my friend from Aberystwyth, Wales. Santa: How do you know him? Pappu: He came to our school in student exchange. Santa: Could you spell that please? Pappu: If I could spell to, I'd write!
Santa walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of the finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up and Santa takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last shot and does the same. The bartender asks, "Why did you do that?" And Santa replies, "Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!"
Santa: Candle light bubble baths are so relaxing. Banta: Really? Santa: Yep! Banta: But when and where do you take it? Santa: I don't take it. Every time my wife takes one, I get about an hour of peace and quiet.
Banta: What's the best example of "once in a lifetime opportunity?" . .. ... Santa: A mosquito sitting on your wife's face.
An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land?" Santa: 2 KM. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards.