Santa: Aaj Toh Main 5 Rupay Ke 3 Pyaaz Le Aaya. Jeeto (Excited): Arey Waah! Woh Kaise? Santa: Pyaaz Wale Ne To 5 Rupay Ka 1 Hi Diya Tha, Ek Main Utha Ke Bhag Aaya, Aur 1 Usne Mujhe Phenk Ke Mara!
Santa: Doctor, Main Subah 9 Baje Uthta Hu Toh Mujhe Saans Lene Mein Takleef Hoti Hai Doctor: Beta, Jaldi Utha Karo... Kyun Ki Saari Oxygen To Baba Ramdev Aur Unke Chele Kheench Lete Hain, Takleef To Aayegi Hi Na!!
Banta: What is a Vote Bank? Santa: A bank where people deposit hopes and politicians turn those into power to reap heavy interest rates for 5 years!
Santa: Yaar Ye Ladkiyan Pyaar Karte Samay Aankhen Kyun Band Kar Leti Hain? Banta: Ye Aurat Jaat Hum Mardon Ko Kabhi Khush Nahin Dekh Sakti...!
Fakir: Aee Husn Ki Malika Andhe Ko 5 Rupaye De De! Santa: De De, Bechara Sach Mein Hi Andha Lag Raha Hai...!!!