Santa: Could you fix the volume on my car horn? Mechanic: Is it broken? Santa: No, but the brakes are!
Santa took his dad for a routine check-up. Doctor: Your father is very healthy, he did live to be eighty. Santa: But he's eighty. Doctor: See? What did I tell you?
Santa: Every time I have a cup of tea, I get a sharp pain in my right eye. What should I do, Doctor? Doctor: Take the spoon out of your cup!
Santa went to a restaurant in China. Santa: Waiter, there's cockroach in my salad. Waiter: Please don't shout, sir. Or else the other customers will be asking for one, too!