Santa to his wife, Jeeto: Banta is a real dud. Jeeto: How did you infer? Santa: It took him 15 years of marriage to get the seven-year-itch!
Doctor: So you have cut down on drinking. Santa: No, not at all. Doctor: But I told you to watch your drinking. Santa: Yes, I am very particular about it. Now I only visit bars that have mirrors on the walls!
Santa: This mutton is under-cooked. Jeeto: You don't appreciate my cooking. Santa: I think the 'Vet' could save it if it we took it right away!
Doctor: Your liver is packing up. It's probably drinks. Santa: Really Doctor? Doctor: It seems to be . Are you a steady drinker? Santa: No Doctor, my hands shake too much!
Santa: Crime figures show that your car is most likely to be stolen when it's parked outside your house. Banta: Yeah, I know. But mine would never be stolen. Santa: Why? Banta: I park it outside my neighbour's house!
Santa: Mere Se Aaj Buhut Galti Ho Gayi. Banta: Kya Hua? Santa: Meri Saali Do Kutte Ke Pille Lekar Aayi Thi. Maine Usse Jeeto Ke Saamne Keh Diya - Ek 'Puppy' Mujhe De Do!