A tourist stopped his car on the road and asked Santa as to how far it was to Bhathinda. Santa replied, "It's 24,999 miles the way you're going, but if you turn around it ain't but four!
Santa went to Mumbai to see the sights and rented a room at a hotel and while checking asked the clerk about the hours for meals. "We have breakfast from 7 to 11 AM, lunch from 12 noon to 3 PM, Evening Tea from 4 to 7 PM and dinner from 8 too 11 PM", explained the clerk. "Look here," inquired Santa with surprise, "what time am I going' to see the town?
Santa: My wife can't stop eating chips. Banta: What's wrong with it? Santa: You don't understand. It makes her a liability at the casino!
Judge: Why were you arrested? Santa: For shopping early. Judge: Well, that's not a crime. Anyway, How early were you shopping? Santa: Before the shop opened.
Santa: How does a married man celebrates a noiseless Diwali? Banta: By going abroad? Santa: No. By sending his wife to her parents' place! Happy Diwali!