Santa: Last night, I was way too drunk to drive home. Banta: So what did you do? Santa: I drove to another party!
Santa: My wife left me because of my views on the environment. Banta: That's really weird. Santa: Yeah, it really is. I only tried saving water by showering with the woman next door!
Santa and Banta are drinking at a bar when Banta falls off his stool and slumps motionless to the floor. Santa says to the bartender, "I'll say this for Banta, he knows when to stop!"
Santa: My wife told me that I should learn to embrace my mistakes. Banta: So what did you do? Santa: I cried and hugged her!
Santa: Every time the doorbell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner. Banta: Why so? Santa: He's a boxer.
Santa complains to Banta, "I can't take it anymore". Banta: What's wrong? Santa: It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical! "You mean hysterical", chuckled Banta. "No, I mean HISTORICAL," Santa insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go - I still remember that time when you..."