Santa: I'm in trouble with my wife. Banta: What happened? Santa: She came to the pub looking for me, and I asked her for her number!
Santa walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Was I in here last night?" "You certainly were", replies the bartender. "And did I spend a lot of money?" Santa asked. "You spent over Rs. 10000", replies the bartender. "Thank god for that", says Santa, "I thought I'd wasted it"!
Santa: May I have some stationery? Hotel Receptionist (haughtily): Are you a guest of the house? Santa: Hell, no. I am paying 3000 Rupees a day!