Santa: I'm the only one in my family who drinks, which is great. Banta: Why is it great? Santa: Because to me, they're all potential liver donors!
"Wake up!" shouted Jeeto to Santa. "What's the matter?" said Santa. Jeeto: You're talking in your sleep again. Why don't you control yourself? Santa: All right! We'll make a bargain. You let me talk when I'm awake and I'll try to control myself when I'm asleep!
"Why didn't you deliver that message as instructed?" Santa asked his servant. Servant: I did the best I could, sir! Santa: The best you could! If I had known I was going to send a donkey, I would have gone myself!
Titanic was sinking. An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land?" Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards!
A policeman stops Santa, "You may not be aware, sir, that your wife fell off your bike half a mile back". Santa: Thank goodness! I thought I'd gone deaf!