The doctor said to patient, "i want you take your clothes off and stick your tongue out of the window." "what will that do?" "not much. but i hate my neighbour!"
Nurse: a beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal!
Doctor to patient, "your case will enrich medical sciences". patient: oh dear! and i thought i'll just have to pay rs. 10000!
Patient to psychiatrist, "what is the difference between dream and reality?" patient: the same between a girlfriend and a wife!
Prisoner: doc! you've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. i only came to see if you could get me out of this place! doctor: i sure'll but only bit by bit!
Nurse: doctor, the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step what should i do? doctor: turn him around so it looks like he was arriving!
A lady waited patiently at the pharmacist till he was free to serve her. at last he asked, "may i help you, madam?" "could you please read this letter from my fiance for me? he is a doctor!"
Two old men were sitting in bar. one said to other, "my wife's a mess. she has gonorrhoea, diarrhoea and ascariasis." "why do you stay with her?" said the other. "because i love to fish and she has great worms."
A surgeon went to visit his twin brother, a vicar, at a parish. during his morning walk a parishioner, mistaking him for the vicar, congratulated him on his sermon. "sorry," replied the surgeon. "i am not the twin who preaches, i am the one who practices."
Doctors life goals: 1. become a doctor 2. marry a doctor 3. make your kids doctor 4. get them married to a doctor engineer life goals: 1. study engineering 2.tell your siblings not to study engg. 3. tell everyone not to study engg. 4. die watching everyone choosing engg.