Girl(to God): I don't want to marry. I am educated, independent and self-sufficient. I don't need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What should I do? God: You are my finest creation and undoubtedly will achieve many great things. But some things... inevitably, will not go the way you want. Worst, some things will fail. Whom will you blame? Yourself? No! You need a husband!
A guy walks into a mini-supermarket in the USA: I want to buy an automatic rifle with telescopic aim and 14,000 bullets of ammo, and one bottle of penicillin. Store Clerk: Sure sir, but sorry, I can't sell you the penicillin without a prescription!
I got called 'pretty' today. Well actually the full statement was 'you're pretty annoying' but I only focus on positive things!
UK Judge to Mallya: you looted the Indian Republic. Mallya replied: the British empire looted India before me. The judge smiled: you are one of us, bail granted!
Great! Thanks to a wonderful secret code leaked by dear friend Vinay Bhatia, I was able to save 100% on Amazon. I haven't tried but as per information, this secret code also works on all such online stores like Snapdeal, Flipkart etc. . . . . . . . . . Secret code is 'Don't Buy'!
This festival season: Laddu: Rs. 300/kg Jalebi: Rs. 400/kg Kaju Barfi: Rs. 700/kg Chocolate: Rs. 1000/kg Weight Loss: Rs. 10,000/kg Enjoy!
Releasing the iPhone 8 and X in India on Karva Chauth is a master stroke by Apple. "Help break her fast with fruit. Give her an Apple!" Incredible Marketing!
Priest: Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell. Alcoholic: What about the guy who sells the liquor? Priest: He will also go to Hell. Alcoholic: What about him who sells snacks outside the Liquor Store? Priest: He too will go to Hell. Alcoholic: Then I have no problem in going to Hell!
After spending all day watching on TV, a man fell asleep on a couch and spent the night in it. His wife woke him up in the morning. "It's ten to seven", she called. "in whose favour?"
When I was young, my family astrologer said I was born for bigger things in life. It was a pretty accurate prediction! I moved from S to M to L to XL to XXL!