Wife(aasman me tare dekhte hue) batao wo kaun si chiz he jo tum roz dekh sakte ho par la nai skte husbnd-mai nhi bataunga wife-bolo na plz husbnd- “padosan”@
Wife:”mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me daal k siva kuch nai . husband:”jab wo aaye to kitchen me 1 bartan girana, me pochu to kehna korma gir gaya.. . phir dosra bartan girana, kehna biryani gir gai.. fir me kahuga chalo daal hi le aao…:p . mehmano k aane k bad bartan girne ki awaaz aai.. . husbnd:”kya hua.. ??. wife: “maa ki aankh….. daal hi gir gai .
Very touchy story: “husband forgot to wish her on his wife’s birthday. he came home late at night from the office ….. his wife shouted: how would u feel if u dont see me for next few days? he couldnt believe his luck. he replied at once.” wowww…..that would be great..!” monday passed & he didn’t see her. tuesday he didnt see her . . & wednesday passed too . . . . . . . . . . . . . on thursday the swelling was better & he could see her from the corner of his left eye..
Husband apni wife ka janaza le k ja raha tha janaze k aage 1 kutta or peeche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi 1 aadmi aa kar puchta hai bhai ye sub kese huwa husband: is kutte ne kaat liya tha or meri wife mar gai aadmi: ye kutta 1 din k liye mujhe de do husband: tum kya samajhte ho ye sub log meri b v k janaze mein shirkat karne aaye hen ? ye sub kutta lene aaye hen peeche line mein lag jao..
Wife: main tumhare zindagi ki kitab hu.. hasband: yehi to taklief hai dairy hote to har saal change kar letaa..!
Wife: apki birthday k liye itna mehnga suit liya hy k bus..:-) husband: shukr hy tumhen mera khyal to aaya, lao dikhao. wife: abhi pehen k aaati hon…!
Wife: give me your phone for a second husband: wait let me switch it on. delete video. delete picture. delete music. delete private folder delete number. delete sms. delete out goin calls. delete incomin calls. delete mms. delete what’s app. delete bbm. delete delete delete delete delete delete… format memory card. here you go i have nothing to hide from u !!! wife: i just wanted to see the time !!!
Wife: u had lunch ? husband: (in a fun mood) u had lunch ? wife: i'm asking u. husband: i'm asking u. wife: r u copying me ? husband: r u copying me ? wife: lets go shopping. husband: i had lunch.
Wife to husband: dear, meri tabiat kharab hai. kya tum khud khana bana loge? husband: oh, mujhe laga hum aaj bahar khana khayenge.. wife: i m ok. main tho bas mazak kar rahi thi. chalo chalte hai. husband: main bhi mazak kar raha tha. chal chup chap dal roti bana :-p
Wife to husband : “you spent 6 nights creating a 45 minute power point to explain why you don’t have 5 minutes to clean out the litter box.?”
Wife: yesterday-night i saw a dream that you were sending me jewelry and clothes! husband: yeah, i saw your dad paying the bill !!!
Wife: meri tabyat thek nahi lag rahi hai husband: ohhh, par me to shoping pe jane ka soch raha tha... wife: me mazaq kar rahi thi... :-) husband: mai bhi mazaq kar raha tha. chal uth k roti paka...