Wife:bht pyar sey "suniye! aj meri birthday ha, mujhy koi mehngi c cheez ley k dain naa plz" hussbnd: chalo tm tayyar ho jao, "hm cheeni lenay chaltey hy".
Pati kaam se ghar jaldi aa gaya, patni ne ye dekha to gabra kar premi ko powder laga kar, kone mein murti ki tarah khada kar diya pati kamre mein aya to usne moorti dekhi aur pucha pati: “ye kya hai?” patni muskurate hue boli: “ji ye murti gupta ji ne di hai.” pati kuch na bola, aur kaam kaaj mein vyast ho gaya aadhi raat ko uth kar murti ke aage sandwich rakh kar bola. pati: “kha lo gupta ji, parson main bhi tumhare ghar saari raat aise hi khada raha kisi ne pani tak bhi nahi puchha tha“
Patni apne mayke se aate hi apne pati se boli. patni: “sunte hai ji, aaj bhari bus mein mera apmaan hua” pati bola: “kaise?” patni: “jaise hi main utarne lagi to mere pichhe se conductor ne kaha ab teen sawari is seat par baith jaye“
A new metal is added to chemistry: name: wife symbol: bv atomic weight: light when first found... tends to get heavier over the years with time. physical properties : - boils at any time - can freeze at any time - melts if treated with love & care - very bitter if mishandled chemical properties : - very reactive - highly unstable - possess strong affinity for gold, silver, diamond, platinum, credit cards & cheque books - money reducing agent occurrence : - mostly found in front of the mirror.
Ø a bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, which book has helped you most in your life? the woman replied – my husband’s cheque book ! ø a prospective husband in a book store, do you have a book called, ‘husband – the master of the house’? sales girl : sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!. ø someone asked an old man, even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. what’s the secret ? old man : i forgot her name and i’m scared to ask her. ø a man in hell asked devil, can i make a call to my wife ? after making call he asked how much to pay. devil : nothing. hell to hell is free. ø wife : i wish i was a newspaper. so i’d be in your hands all day. husband : i too wish that you were a newspaper. so i could have a new one every day ! ø husband to wife – today is a fine day. next day he says : today is a fine day. again next day, he says same thing – today is a fine day. finally after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband – since last one week, you are saying this "today is a fine day". i am fed up. what’s the matter? husband : last week when we had an argument, you said, "i will leave you one fine day." i was just trying to remind you... have a smile, smiling is the best medicine... pass it on...
Wife : i'm going to london. do u want any gift ? husband : a british girl... wife : ok... wife returns... husband : where is the gift ? wife : wait for 9 months. :p
Husband driving car at very high speed: dekhi meri speed?? & achanak car band ho gai.. biwi hasne lagi husbnd: kya huaa?? biwi: kuchh nahi, kal rat ki yad aagai..
Husband – cricket wala channel lagao. wife – nahi lagaungi. . . . husband – dekh lunga. wife – kya dekhloge? . . . husband – yahi channel jo tum dekh rahi ho.
Wife : oji sunte ho, ghar me namak khatam ho gaya hai, ab mai kya dalu? husband : teri dimag to hai hi nahi, naya "colgate active salt" dal de usme namak hai.
Husband:-"apni shaadi nu 5 saal ho gaye, tenu pyar da sabse zyada maza kis din aaya?" wife sharmate huye:- "tussi us din ludhiyana gaye hoye si ji. . . .
Ek baar husand or wife me ladayi ho rahi thi. . unka chota bacha bhi waha baitha tha, . husband- tu sali kutti . wife- tu sala kutta, . baccha masumiyat se bola aur mai sala puppy gasp emoticon kiss emoticon
Suhagrat ke bad, pati apni patni se bola . pati : ary khoon to nikla hi nhi " . . patni ne ghusse mein aakar jawab diya . . patni- " kyun harami tune andar teer mara tha kya ?"