Pati: tum hmesha mera- mera krti rhti ho.. mera beta, mera ghar, meri car, tujhe hmara kehna chahiye... ab almari me kya dhoondh rhi hu..?? . . . . . . . . . . wife: hamara peticoat..
Patni :- my dear husband i love you so much. i can't live without you! marr jaaungi! mit jaaungi! zehar pee jaaungi. tere pyaar mein fanna ho jaaungi! pati :- dekh le, jaise bhi tujhe comfortable lage.
Ek aadmi ki lottry lagti hai wo khush ho kar ghar jata hai aur patni se puchhta hai. pati khushi se: “mujhe lottry lage to tum kya karogi?” patni: “aadhe paise leke hamesha ke liye tumhe chhod ke mayeke chali jaungi” pati gusse se: “aaj meri 50 rupaye ki lagi hai ye le 25 aur nikal le“
Shaadi se agle din patni gusse se pati se boli. patni: “subah-subah mere chehre pe pani kyun dala?” pati: “tere baap ne kaha tha ke meri beti phool ki tarah hai, ise murjhane mat dena“
Wife- tum meri taraf face karke soya karo ji. . . mujhe raat ko darr lagta hai . . . . . husband-very smart , aur mai chahe darr darr ke mar jau.
Wife: ek baat bolun? husband: haan yaar,bolo... wife: maaroge toh nahi ? husband: kya bol rahi ho, kyun marunga bhala tumhe? wife: daantoge bhin nahin....? husband: bilkul nahin daantunga...,baat toh batao. wife: main pregnant hun. husband: hurray !!! pagli kahin ki,it's a good news, darr kyun rahi thi??? wife: college ke dino mein ek baar papa ko bataya tha toh badi maar padi thi..!!
Husbsnd n wife seeing stars. wife- batao wo kon c cheez hai jo tum roz dekh skte ho pr tod nhi skte? husband- me nhi btaunga. wife- bolo na plz husband- tumhara muh..
Wife: aaaaaaa... hubby: kya hua ? wife: gale me dard hai. hubby: market jaa raha hu. gale ke liye kuch lau ? wife: necklace le ana !
Wife: mujhe burger khana hai. husbnd ne la kar de diya. wife: thanks. husband : sirf thanks? wife: achha to tum kiss chahte ho? . . . . . . . . husband: bakwas mat kar adha adha kar.
Marta hua pati apni patni ko bola pati: “almari se tera gold set maine chori kiya tha” patni rote hue boli: “koi baat nai ji” pati: “tere bhai ne tujhe amanat di thi 1 lakh wo bhi mene hi ghayab kiye” patni: “mene aapko maaf kiya” pati: “teri kameti ke paise bhi mene hi chori kiye the” patni: “koi baat nahi ji, aapko zehar bhi mene hi diya hai, hisab barabar“
Wife: why are you waiting here? husband: sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon mere darling! wife: toh jao naa khade kyu ho! husband: kaise jaau.. bahar kutta jo khada hai!
Pati :- darling kya tum mere sath zym jana pasand karogi ? . patni :- tum kehna kya chahte ho mai moti hogayi ? . pati :- ok , pasand nahi to mat chalo. . patni :- kehna kya chahte ho mai lezy hu . . pati :- uff gussa kuy ho rahi ho janu . patni :- tumhara matlb hai ki mai hamesa jhagarti hu . pati :- maine aisa to nahi bola babu . patni :- achcha to mai jhuti hu . pati :- ok. baba mat chalo, mai akela chale jata hu . patni :- ruko ruko, akele kuy jana chahte ho ? chaker kya hai