Branch maneger - packet aur bandal me kya fark hai ? . . . . new chaprasi - sir packet cigret ka hota hai aur bandal bidi ka.
Pandit ek ghar mein ladka dikhane ke liye gaya. pandit: “aap logon ko kaisa ladka chahiye?” ladki wale: “humein aisa ladka chahiye jo paan, cigrette, daaru aur koi bhi nashe na karta ho, boiled khana khata ho aur bhagwaan ka naam jaapta ho.” pandit: “to aisa ladka to aapko sirf icu mein hi mil sakta hai.
Sardar: what is the name of your car? lady: i forgot the name, but is starts with 't'. sardar: oh, what a strange car, starts with tea. all cars that i know start with petrol..
Responsibility employer to applicant: "in this job we need someone who is responsible." applicant: "i'm the one you want. on my last job, every time anything went wrong, hey said i was responsible."
Waiter: your bill sir. santa: take my card. waiter: but sir, yeh toh aapki shaadi ka card hai! santa: to phir Baahar kya mazaak me likha hai all cards accepted?
Safar ishq ka aasan nahi, woh ruthh jaye to unhe manna aasan nahi, khata huye humse jo humne unko naraj kiya, ab toh unke gusse se bach pana aasan nahi.
*girl signals an auto wala* . . driver : kidhar jana hai madam?? . . girl : ghar jana hai . . driver : address??? . . girl : me kyu batau
Wife : mere husband ka accident hogaya, tab se khada nahi ho pa raha hai. doctor : muh mei le ke dekho.. wife: madarchod! husband khada nahi ho pa raha....
Gf ne bf ko call kiya to uss ke bhanje ne fone uthaya.... gf : apne uncle ko fon do. bacha : aap ka name ? gf : apne uncle se kaho unn ki jaan-e-man ka call hai... jawab mein bachhey ne jo kaha, usse sunn kar ladki behosh ho gayi... uss ne masumiyat se kaha : "lekin aunty, mobile pe to "jugaad" likha hai....
Boy: grandpa! what are you doing on the porch with no pants on? grandpa: well, last week i sat out there with no shirt on and i got a stiff neck. this is your grandma's idea!
Son: mom, why daddy has a snake. mom: that's why i am sitting on it. son: mom, nanny is more brave than you. mom: why? son: because she eats daddy's snake!
My ex-girlfriend finished last in the swimming competition under the breaststroke category. she didn't know that she could use her arms to swim!