Patient: doctor, i took two covid-19 tests today. the nasal swab was negative (-) but the anal swab was positive (+). what does this make me? doctor: a battery!
My ex-girlfriend finished last in the swimming competition under the breaststroke category. she didn't know that she could use her arms to swim!
Son: dad, is there any place where people love everyone no matter their race colour or sexuality? dad: yes son, it's called pornhub!
A padded bra is like real estate. the super built-up area is very impressive but the actual carpet area is disappointing!
Height of being positive: girlfriend: jaanu meri shaadi pakki ho gayi hai. boyfriend: chalo achha hai... ab condom ke bina bhi kar sakte hain!