3 stupid stages of life! teenage: have time + energy...but no money. working age: have money + energy...but no time. old age: have time + money...but no energy.
An elderly couple were in church. the wife leaned over and whispered to her husband, "i just let out a long silent fart... what should i do?" the husband replied, "replace the batteries in your hearing aid."
Apple was going to make a smaller version of ipod touch for kids. until they realized that 'itouch kids' sounded really wrong and awkward.
An arab’s interview in u.s embassy consultant: “what is your name?” arab: “abdul aziz, sir” consultant: “sex?” arab: “six to ten times a week” consultant: “no no, i mean male or female?” arab: “both, male and female and sometimes even camels” consultant: “holy cow” arab: “yes, cows and dogs too” consultant: “man, isnt it hostile?” arab: “horse style, dog style, any style” consultant: “ohhh dear” arab: “deer? nop, they run too fast“
A bus full of ugly people met a fairy who gives them one wish each. the first said, “make me gorgeous!” and so the fairy did. the rest followed with the same wish. when the fairy came to the last person, he was laughing as he said his wish: “make them all ugly again!”
Its hard to sleep when you know how burdened your mind is... it is even harder going to sleep . . . . when you know there is left over pizza n ice cream in the fridge... ;) :d .
A biker saw one girl about to jump off a bridge...so he stopped.. biker: what are u doing? girl: committing suicide biker: well before u die i wish to i kiss u girl : okk (after kissing) biker : woww dat was da best kiss in my life...but why are you committing suicide? girl : because my parents don't like me dressing like a girl biker jumped off the bridge :d :d
It's really hard to see people change... especially ....when they change their clothes in front of you..:d
Boy: daddy? how did i come into this world?? dad: listen carefully.. mom & dad met each other in a cyber cafe... in the restrooms of that cyber cafe, dad connected to mom a big usb. mom at that time made some downloads from dad's memory stick... when dad finished uploading we discovered we did not use firewall... since it was too late to cancel or delete, nine months later we ended up w/ a virus... ...hahahah!
Brocolli: i luk lyk a tree. wallnut: i luk lyk a brain. mushroom: i luk lyk an umbrella. eggplant: dude? change topic
Nose bleeder: a couple had 3 kids named somebody, nobody and crazy nobody was the favorite, somebody was jealous. so he killed nobody. crazy saw what happen, he called, he called the cops and sed : " hello police, somebody killed nobody " da police asked, " are you crazy? " he said: " yes im crazy " ??
A woman has only 2 choices in life: (1) to be single and look for a husband every day.. or (2) to get married and look for her husband every night.. ;]