There was a man that owned a giant gorilla
and, all its life,
he'd never left it on its own.
but eventually he had to go on a business trip
and had to leave his gorilla in
the care of his next-door neighbor.
so he explained to his neighbor
that all he had to do was feed his gorilla
three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock.
but he was never ever, ever to touch its fur.
so the next day the man came
and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it
for a while thinking,
why can't i touch its fur?
as their didn't seem to be anything wrong with it.
every day he came in and looked for a little while longer
as he still couldnt understand until,
about a week later,
he'd worked himself into a frenzy and
decided that he was going to touch the gorilla.
he passed it the banana
and very gently brushed
the back of his hand against its fur.
suddenly the gorilla went ape shit
and started to jump around,
then it turned
and began to running towards the man who,
in turn, ran through the front door,
over the lawn, across the street,
into some one else's sports car and drove off.
in the rear-view mirror,
he could see the gorilla
in its own sports car,
driving right behing him.
he drove for two hours until the engine
began to splutter and the car just
stopped. he jumped out
and began to run down the street,
over a brick wall,
into someone's front garden
and up the apple tree.
he turned around to find the gorilla
right behind him beating its chest.
the man jumped down
and ran back in to the street screaming,
until it became dark
and he thought he'd lost the gorilla.
the man ran into an alleyway then,
suddenly,
he saw a giant shaddow coming
down the street ahead.
the gorilla!
it came to the end of the alley,
stood and looked straight into the bloodshoot
eyes of the man and came towards him slowly.
this time there was no escape.
as the gorilla neared him,
the man began to feel faint.
the giant beast came face to face with him,
raised its mighty hand and said,
tag! you're it!