Ek chote bachche ki love story: ek bache ki girlfriend sunami mein mar jati hai, wo har roj samudar kinare jata aur khada ho jata, lehare ati aur uske pair bhiga kar chali jati aur, wo rote rote samundar se kehta ke na na na, tu kitna bhi pair chu le par mein tujhe maaf nahi karunga.:d:d
Ek ladki ki shadi papu se tay ho gayi. lekin uska already dusre ladke se affair chal raha tha. boy: tujhe papu se shadi karni hai to kar le koi problem nahi hai. bas ek baar mere se sax krwa le. bohot kharcha ho gaya hai tujhe ghumaane me. ladki maan gayi aur sax ka din aur time decide ho gaya. sax se just pehle ladke ko yaad aaya k candom to ghar pe hi bhool gaya. usne ladki ko plastic ki theli laga k sax kr diya. sax k baad pata chala k theli ladki ki vgina me hi reh gayi. finally ladki ki shadi hui. suhagraat par jaise hi papu ne apna lund daala aur jhatkey marey to theli bahar aa gayi. ladki ki gaa*d fat k haath me aa gayi. fir bhi badi himmat kar ke wo boli: dekhte kya ho ji… tumhe nahi pata, pahli baar chudai krte waqt aisi jhilli fat ke bahar aati hai. papu ne theli ko dekha aur fir ladki ki taraf dekha. ladki: mera vishwaas karo ji. main sach keh rahi hu aisa hota hai… aap kya soch rahe ho??? papu: wo sab to theek hai…. main ye soch raha hu…………. is par “mohan mithai ki dukan" kyu likha hua hai??????
Ek baar swami lunnacharya ji apne bhakto ko pravachan de ke uthe. to ek angrej ladki, jo unke pravachan se bahut impress ho chuki thi, unhhe apne sath sex karne ka offer diya. ladki jawan aur bahut khubsurat thi aur apne swami ji bhi tharki thhe, unhone offer accept kar liya. angrejan ko le gaye apne kamre mein aur sex karna shuru kar diya. jaisa ki aapko pata hai wo buddhe the, aur shareer mein jaan kam thhi, sex karte karte achanak kaanpne lage. ladki ne bahut pyaar se puchha: “kya hua swaami ji? aap kaamp kyu rahe ho?” ab swami ji akhir thhe to sachhe desh bhakat, unhone socha ye to bahar jake india ki beizzjti kar degi, kuch soch ke bole lunnacharya: “bachha wo kya hai, tum logo ko to vibrators lene ki adat hai, mene socha indian lunn with vibrator twist de du, kam se kam yad to rakhogi swami ji ko“.:d:d
Amit- apni girlfriend se aaj 7 baje mai beach pe jaa ra hu tu aayegi na! sneha- nahi yaar aaj meri fav ipl team ka match hai, tu akela chala ja. amit- chhod na yaar sneha- nahi! amit - ok thik hai mat aa pata hai aaj main tujhe ek special gift dene wala tha. koi bat nahi pratima bhi aa rahi hai use hi de doonga, sneha- arre yaar! mai toh majaak kar rahi thi, budhdhu itna bhi nahi samajhte. amit - toh mai kaun sa serious tha.
Ek baar ek bachha bhukha( hungry) hota hai, do din se usne kuch bhi nahi khaya hota. wo ek chai wale (tea shop) ke paas jaata hai aur bolta hai. bacha: “uncle bhukh lagi hai chai pila do” chai wala tharki hota hai vo ye sun ke bache ko bolta hai. chai wala: “bete chai to pila dunga, par pahle gaand deni padegi” bachha bechara bukh se mar raha hota hai aur gaand marwane ke liye haan kar deta hai. chai wala usko dukan ke piche le ja kar jhuka deta hai aur thokna shuru kar deta hai. achanak bachhe ko uske land ke neeche do tatte latke huye dikhte hain aur wo chai wale se puchta hai. bachha: “uncle ye kya hain?” chai wala: “beta ye tatte hote hai” bachha kuch soch ke bolta hai: “uncle bhukh badh gayi hai, inko bhi andar daal do ek fan aur ek mathhi aur de dena“
Solid example for financial management..... ek baar vijay apne friend kallu k ghar taash khelne gya.. vijay , kallu aur kallu ki modern biwi taash khel rahe thee tab vijay ka 1 patta table ke niche gira.. vijay patta uthaane k liye table k niche jhuka to saamne kallu ki biwi apni chhoti skirt me se chut pe ungliya ghuma rahi thii.. yeg dekh ke vijay ka pasina aa gaya aur mann machal utha.. table k upar aane k baad kallu ki biwi vijay ko ishaara kiya aur kitchen me paani ka bahaana kar ke chal di.. us k pichhe vijay bhi paani ka bahaana kar k chala gaya. kitchen me.. kallu ki biwi: "kya dekha tumne?" vijay : "wahi jo tumne dikhaya." biwi: "lena chahoge?" vijay : "zaroor".. biwi: '50,000/- lagega.." ab vijay apni financial situation nhi hone se soch me pad gaya.. aur thodi der baad bola:"theek hai, kal shaam ko aaunga.." dusre din shaam ko vijay aaya.. aur khoob jam k kallu ki biwi ki thukaiiiii kar ke haalat kharaab kar di, aur 50,000 de k nikal gaya.. raat ko kallu ghar pahucha to biwi se bola: vijay aaya thaa na?" ab to bechari k pasine chhut gaye aur bol diya: "haa aaya thaa". thodi der baad biwi ne puchha:"aisa kyo puchha?" kallu: "bas.. vijay aaj subah mujhse 50000 udhaar le gaya thaa... bola shaam ko ghar pe bhabhi ji ko de jaunga...":d:d
Ek aadmi aaram se apne bed par so raha tha tabhi wahan par yamraaj use lene aa gaya yamraaj ne use uthaya aur apne saath narklok le gaya aadmi ki aatama ko jab hosh aaya to usne pagla kar puchha mein kaha par hun yamraaj: “narklok mein bachha.” aadmi ghabrakar: “narklok mein kyu?” yamraaj: “ghabrao mat bachha yahan par to tum temperary ho, tumhe jald hi naya janm de diya jaayega .tumne apne jeevan mein paap aur punya dono kiye hain isliye tumhe agle janam mein swarg jaisa nark milega.” aadmi: “kya keh rahe ho yamraaj, wo kaise?” yamraaj: “agle janam mein tumhari shaadi to hogi lekin wahi purani biwi ke saath.”:d:d
Pancho pandav dronacharya se dhanur vidya sikh rahe the shiksha ki samapti par dronacharya bole: “aaj tum logo ki preeksha hai” dronacharya ne ek chidiya ped par rakh di aur bole: “yudhishter beta chiriya ki ankh mein teer maro” yudhistir chidiya ki aankh mein nishana laga kar teer chodta hai, teer galti se chidiya ki gand mein lag jata hai yudhistir: “teri ma ki choot, nishana gaya chook” dronacharya: “bheem ab tum nishana lagao” bheem ka nishana bhi chidiya ki gaand mein lag jaata hai bheem: “teri ma ki choot, nishana gaya chook” dronacharya: “arjun beta ab tumhari baari, nishana lagao” arjun ka nishana bhi chidiya ki gaand mein jake lagta hai arjun: “teri ma ki choot, nishana gaya chook” dronacharya gusse me aakar apne kamandal se pani hath par lekar mantar padk kar pandvo ko shrap dete hai ki, aasman se 1000 teer aaye aur un sabki gaand mein guss jaye aasman se 1000 teer aate hai aur dronacharya ki gand mein ghus jate hai aasman se awaj aati hai: “ohhh, teri ma ki choot, nishana gaya chook“:d:d
Fauj mein ek sainik apne commandar ke pass aya aur bola sainik: “sir, mujhe chhutti chahiye” commander: “kyun?” sainik: “sir, biwi ki yaad aa rahi hai, s3x karne ka bada mann kar raha hai” commander: “hmm, ek kaam karo, apni pent utaar aur jo samne diwaar par suraakh hai usmein apna l#nd daalo aur andar bahar karo” sainik ne aisa hi kiya, aur use bahut maza aaya. s3x hone ke baad commander ne pucha. commander: “kyun ab chhutti chahiye?” sainik khush hote hue: “nahi sahab, ab maza aa gaya ab chhutti nahi chahiye” commander: “shabash, ab pent utaaro aur diwaar ke piche ja kar jhuk kar khade ho jao, kuch aur sainik bhi chutti maang rahe hai“
Ek anpadh sardarni new york ke ek message centre mein apni maa ko punjab message karne ke liye gayi angrej operator bola ki $50 lagenge wo udas hote hue boli: “mere pas itne paise to nahi hai, par agar aap meri maa ko ek message kar do to aap jo bologe main karungi” angrej ne kuch sochte hue puchha: “kuch bhi karogi?” vo boli: “haan, kuch bhi” angrej ne use kaha ki mere piche aao aur usko agle ek room mein le gaya aur bola: “darwaja band karke mere pass aao” usne aisa hi kiya aur uske pass aake khadi ho gayi angrej: “ab jhuko aur apne ghutno pe khadi ho jao” usne hichkichate hue aisa hi kiya angrej bola: “meri pant ki zip kholo” usne zip khol di angrej: “ab isko bahar nikalo aur shuru ho jao” usne dono haatho se uska samaan bahar nikala, angrej ne maje se apni aankhein band kar li aurat apne hont uske paas layi aur chilla ke boli: “bebe mein simran, tenu meri awaj aa rahi hai na?“
Santa ka usa ka visa laga aur socha ki chalo usa ghum ke aaye usa pahunch gaya aur socha ki, aaj shopping mall mein chalta hun aur goriyo ko dekhta hun ab hai to hamara santa tharki hi, usne samne jaati ek gori ko dekha aur uske piche lag gaya thodi si aage jake bheed thi usne jake chupke se gori ki gaand mein ungli de di esa karte hi achanak gori ko paad (fart) aa gaya aur santa ki ungli bahar aa gayi ye dekh ke vo hairan hua aur bola santa: “wah re america, yaha to bundo (gaand) mein bhi security system lage hue hai“:d:d