The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children!
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!
What did the computer do at lunchtime? Had a byte!
Why do ambassadors never get sick? Diplomatic immunity!
Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry!
Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work!
What is the computer's favorite food? Microchips!
Why did the belt get locked up? It held up a pair of pants!
What did the grape say when the elephant trod on it? Nothing, it just gave a little wine!
One state official to the other: I don't know what people have against us. We haven't done anything!
Why do people never eat clocks? Because it's really time-consuming!