Marriage Messages

I lost 240 pounds in one day. . .. ... i divorced my wife!

Hey kids! don't bother getting married, just find a woman you don't like and give her a house!

Who says wives are difficult to please? they just want two things in life - love & labels!

I was playing chess today. i beat my wife. . .. ... then i went back to playing chess.

The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is... just open the door and push her out.

When you touch to feel, it's desire; when you don't touch and still feel, it's love; when you touch and still don't feel, .. .. .. it's your wife!

I used to think that i wasn't scared of anything u
23d
Ntil . .. ... i saw my wife reversing my new car!

Courtship is like looking at the beautiful photos in a seed catalog. marriage is what actually comes up in your garden!

Marriage counselor: why did you hit your wife with a chair? husband: i couldn't lift the table.

Marriage is very much like a violin.] after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached!

It's an agreement in which the man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gains her master's.

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "wife wanted". next day he received a hundred letters. they all said the same thing: "you can have mine."