Santa: this is just a friendly reminder about drinking and driving this festive season: i went out last night and left my car at the pub and took the bus home. i was very proud of myself this morning as i had never driven a bus before.
Banta: why does santa claus have to be a man? santa: bcoz no woman will wear the same dress year after year.
Santa: banta once told me, "0nions are the only food that make you cry." that was before i hit him in the face with a watermelon.
Santa: when i was a child, homosexuality was a crime in india. as i grew up, it was acceptable. now it's legal. i'd better leave india b4 they make it compulsory.
Santa: women live a better, longer & peaceful life as compared to men. banta: why? santa: women don't have a wife!
Jeeto: you don't love me at all. santa points towards their five children and says: do you think i downloaded them from google.
Pappu: daddy, what's gay? santa: it means happy. pappu: are you gay? santa: no, i married your mother.
Santa: today is a fine day. annoyed jeeto: why do you keep saying, `today is a fine day` everyday? santa: you had said once that, `one fine day, i`ll leave this house`.
A lady tells santa, `if you were my husband, i would poison your drink`! santa replied, `madam, if you were my wife, i would drink it!`
Santa got a flat tyre & he pulled over to change it. banta: did your tyre go flat? santa: no, i was driving along and the other 3 just swelled up!