Santa: i have two bad news for you.how should i tell you? banta: combine them. santa: your wife is cheating on both of us.
Banta: wise men are always in doubt. only idiots are sure of their case. santa: are you sure of that? banta: yes, obviously!
Banta: santa bhaji, you cannot appreciate this novel because you never wrote a novel. santa: i never laid an egg, but i am a better judge of an omelette than any hen.
Banta: when i stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when i stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. why is this? santa: it's because your feet aren't empty.
Santa in a restaurant: i would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and one beer from the tap. waiter: is it enough, sir? santa: what? do you think i can't buy more?
Banta: why do these newly wed guys in india call their wives 'honey' these days? santa: actually they are sugar-coating the word. banta: how? santa: wife is 'bee-bee' in hindi. so indian wives are 2 bees & they sting twice as hard as one 'honey bee'.
Banta: how do you feel when women gives you a "flying kiss"? santa: i like the feelings expressed by the woman but i hate such lazy women.
Santa: i found aladdin's lamp last week. banta: what did you do with it? santa: i rubbed it and asked him to increase all wives intelligence by 10 times. banta: but things don't seem to have changed with preeto. santa: let me finish. the ginnie laughed & told me, multiplication does not apply to zero.
Pappu: papa, what's the difference between mother's tears and wife's tears? santa: mother's tears effect your heart and wife's tears effect your pocket.
After returning back from a foreign trip, santa asked his wife, "do i look like a foreigner?" wife: no! why? santa: in london, a lady asked me, "are you a foreigner?"