Banta: how's your wife these days? santa: she's awfully sick. banta: must be dangerous? is she? santa: no, she's too weak to be dangerous anymore!
Santa: the weather has not been too bad this week. banta: but it's so wet all over. santa: yeah, bcoz it only rained twice. 1st time for 3 days and 2nd time for 4 days.
Judge: i have reviewed this case very carefully and i've decided to give your wife rs 20,000 per month. santa: that's very fair, your honor. and every now and then i'll try to send her a few bucks myself.
Santa: they say, "milk gives you strength". banta: that's right. santa: so i drank 5 glasses & still couldn't move a wall. i tried 6 shots of vodka & saw the wall move by itself!
Doctor: i can't find a cause for your illness. frankly, i think it's due to excessive drinking. santa: in that case, i'll come back when you are sober.
Santa: a police officer came up to me yesterday and said, "where were you between four and six?" banta: what did you say? santa: i said, "kindergarten".
Santa goes into his local electrical store and asks, "is there anyone who can show me a food processor?" store assistant: kenwood. santa: okay, go and get him then.
Santa texted his son, pappu, "what does idk, ly & ttyl mean?" pappu texted, "i don't know, love u, talk to u later." santa texted back, "don't worry, i'll ask banta".
Santa: do you know what really amazes me about you? jeeto: no. what? santa: oops. sorry. i was thinking about someone else!
Santa: i was driving on the freeway and i saw a hitchhiker holding a sign that said 'heaven'! he got hit by my car. banta: then what happened? santa: he seemed like a nice guy, so he probably made it.
Santa and his girlfriend were showering together. girl: do dirty things to me. santa puts soap in her eyes.