Santa walks into a doctor's office. he has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "what's the matter with me?", santa asks the doctor. the doctor replies, "obviously, you're not eating properly".
Santa: i was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. banta: you must keep your dog on leash. santa: that's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Jeeto to his hubby santa in a very cheerful mood, "darling, what's the reason that you're clicking a lot of my pictures?" santa: i have really developed this new passion for wild life photography.
Santa: i've just moved into my new flat and directly below me is a police station. banta: so how do you handle coming home late at night after drinking so much? santa: you don't understand. the police station being below, i'm above the law.
Santa: a cop came up to me with a sniffer dog and said, "this dog tells me you're on drugs". banta: so what transpired? santa: i confronted him by saying. "i'm on drugs? you're the one talking to dogs".
Santa comes home pretty late at night after a bout of drinking. as he falls through the doorway, his wife jeeto snaps at him, "what's the big idea coming home half drunk?" santa replies, "i'm sorry, honey. i ran out of money".
Santa: i committed a big mistake by marrying my 'secretary'. banta: marriage anyone is a big mistake, why pin-point just the poor 'secretary'. santa: no it's not that. i thought that she'll still continue to obey my orders!
Jeeto: what do you think about our love? santa: try to count the starts in the sky. jeeto: wow! so it's infinite! santa: no baby, it's a waste of time!
Santa goes into a bar, orders six shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. the bartender says, "sir, why are you drinking so fast?" santa answers, "you would be drinking fast if you had what i had. bartender: what do you have? santa: just 20 rupees.
Banta, after a few rounds of drinks to santa, "let's go to macau'. santa: any plan made after drinks in the evening fizzles out by the next morning. banta: so? santa: so why not make grander plans like going to usa. in any case, the plan is going to get cancelled.
Santa: i saw a man at the beach yelling, "help, shark, help"! i just laughed. banta: why did you laugh at the agony of that man? santa: i knew that shark wasn't going to help him.