Santa: if adam and eve were chinese, we would still be in paradise. banta: why? santa: because they would have eaten snake instead of the bloody apple.
Santa: i haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. banta: why not? santa: i don't like to interrupt her.
Santa: i'm going to watch "mission impossible" tonight. banta: is it on cable today? santa: not the film. i just bought my wife some slim fit jeans and i'm going to make her try them on.
While abroad, santa's family were invited to someone's place for dinner. pappu: papa, i don't like the holes in the cheese. santa: eat the cheese and leave the holes!
Santa to psychologist, "my wife treats me like a dog!" psychologist: does she abuse, hit or starve you? santa: no no... it's a worse! she wants me to be faithful!
Santa goes to the doctors and says, "doctor i can't stop my hands from shaking". doctor: do you drink much? santa: no, i spill most of it.
Santa: please give me two fans - one male and one female. shopkeeper: what nonsense! fans don't have any gender. santa: why not? ok, you give me one 'bajaj' and one 'usha' fan.
Santa was watching a movie at home and suddenly shouts "noooo! don't get off the horse! it's a trap..!" jeeto: what are you watching? santa: our wedding dvd.
Santa calls at the airport, "how long is the journey from chandigarh to delhi? receptionist: 45 minutes, sir! santa: only that much! thanks, i rather walk then spend so much on the air fare.
Jeeto: did you go shopping for my birthday present? santa: yeah, and i found a perfect thing for you. jeeto: you're such a darling. and what exactly is it? santa: nothing!
Banta: if a lion attacks your mother-in-law and your wife, whom would you save? santa: the lion, of course!
Magician: i will now cut this man's wife into 2 halves. santa: what kind of magic is this; turning one problem into two?