Naughty Jokes

Feeling anti-national. Went shopping and didn't buy even a single Patanjli product!

You know what really turns me on?
Unprotected wifi!

What room can't a skeleton enter?
The living room!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!

My wife threatened to divorce me if I didn't stop making Linkin Park references.
But In the end it doesn't even matter!

John Cena wakes up in a hospital.
John Cena: Where am I?
Nurse: ICU
John Cena: No you can't see me!

I got hit on the head with a book this morning.
I've only got myshelf to blame!

I wish I could say "?????????" in real life too.
It would be very useful!

What do you call a line of rabbits moving backwards?
A receding hare line!

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink.
The bartender says, For you? No charge!

In operation theatre:
Doctor: We are going to give you local anesthesia now.
South Delhi Girl: Why local? Branded Nahi Hai?

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends!