Health, Dieting and Exercise Jokes

Diet Tip:
Your pants won't get too tight if you don't wear any!

On some days, I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running!

Please God, if you can't make me 'slim', make my friends 'fat'!

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it... I am totally flexible!

I wish we could donate body fat to those in need!

The leading cause of obesity is...
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"Free Home Delivery"!

A vegetarian lady looked at my burger and said, " You know, a sheep died so you could have that burger."
I looked at her salad and responded, " Maybe she died because you keep eating all her food!"

True happiness is when someone says, You've lost weight!

The only reason I'm fat is because...
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A tiny body couldn't store all this personality!

Fat people should be called skinny as they have more skin surface area!

My Gym instructor suggested skipping.
So I skipped the gym for 2 years and counting!

Real pain is when you offer someone your food just to sound polite and they say yes and take it!