A woman calls her husband into the bedroom. "now mike, i want you to take off my blouse!" "good!" "now i also want you to take off my bra." "good..." "now can you take off my panties." "very good! now, don't let me catch you wearing them again!"
A man surfing tv channels asks his wife, "darling, may i watch t20 match?" wife: you better watch only the replay of gayle's innings of 175. that way, you might learn some porn!
An old married couple was sitting in their rocking chairs enjoying a beautiful sunset when the old man looked at his wife and said "fuck you!" a few minutes passed when the woman turned and said the same thing to her husband. after about half an hour of this the old man said "i'll never understand why kids today like this oral sex so much!"
A newly wedded husband to his wife after sex, "i'll be frank, you are not the first girl. wife: i'll also be frank, you still have to learn a lot!
What is the similarity between a swimming pool and a wife? for both, we pay high maintenance cost for the little time we spend in them!
A husband gets love bite on neck from his secretary. he goes home worried, allows his pet dog to jump on him and shouts, "he bit my neck". the wife removes bra and says, "see what he did to me!"
While performing the sex act, wife to her hubby, "you're just like a mobile." husband proudly: so you love my vibrations? wife: no no... the moment you go into the basement, your network fails!