Ten computer scientists and ten engineers are on line to buy train tickets to travel to the tech conference in the nearby city. each of the computer scientists walk up to the window to purchase their train ticket, and watch as the engineers combine their money to purchase only one ticket. "stupid engineers," they say amongst themselves, boarding the train. soon after departing, the ticket taker enters the train car. all ten of the engineers pile into the restroom with their single ticket. the ticket taker collects each of the computer scientists tickets and proceeds to the rest room. seeing that it's occupied, the ticket taker knocks on the door and asks for the occupant's ticket. the engineers slip their ticket from under the door and the ticket taker moves on. the computer scientists look at each other in astonishment that the engineers' plan actually worked. after the conference, the ten computer scientists and ten engineers line up again to buy their return tickets. again, the engineers only buy one ticket, but this time they watch on as the computer scientists buy zero tickets. "stupid computer scientists," they say amongst themselves, boarding the train. and again, the ticket taker enters the train car and all ten engineers pile into the restroom with their single ticket. "ticket please", a computer scientist says, knocking on the restroom door. sure enough, the engineers slide their ticket from under the door as the computer scientists pile into the adjacent restroom.
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. he reduces height and spots a man down below. he lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "excuse me, can you tell me where i am?" the man below says : "yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "you must work in information technology," says the balloonist. "i do" replies the man. "how did you know?" "well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone." the man below replies, "you must work in management." "i do" replies the balloonist, "but how'd you know?" "well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. you’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
A young programmer and his project manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to wichita. they can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. after a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. there is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. when the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. the grandmother is thinking to herself, “it was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but i’m glad she slapped him.” the project manager is sitting there thinking, “i didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but i sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!” the young woman was sitting and thinking, “i’m glad the guy kissed me, but i wish my grandmother had not slapped him!” the young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. he thought to himself, “life is good. how often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his project manager all at the same time!”
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a java program. the rest of them will write perl programs
A master was explaining the nature of tao to one of his novices: "the tao is embodied in all software no matter how insignificant," he said. "is the tao in a handheld calculator?" asked the novice. "it is," came the reply. "is the tao in a video game?" "it is even in a video game." "and is the tao in dos for a personal computer?" the master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "the lesson is over for today."
The tao gave birth to machine language. machine language gave birth to the assembler. the assembler gave birth to the compiler. now there are ten thousand languages. each language has its purpose, however humble. each language expresses the yin and yang of software. each language has its place within the tao. but do not program in cobol if you can avoid it.
One day a teacher asked her students to draw the diagram of leaning tower pisa. everyone was busy in drawing except one. this drew the attention of teacher. she asked him why he didn't draw anything. the boy boldly stood and showed his paper. in his paper, he just wrote this: tower of pisa