Intern : how can i convert that string to upper case? programmer : did you try to google it? intern : no. i'll try! intern : google ($str) ; it didn't work! programmer : ??!!!
Working in i.t. is like being married... when it's perfect, there is no thanks. when it goes wrong, boy you are in shit.
Eight bytes walk into a bar. the bartender asks, “can i get you anything?” “yeah,” replied the bytes. “make us a double.”
Sign board in an i.t office : please do not tap on glass. programmers are easily scared and will start to cry. violently. please enter slowly while singing "ave maria" to avoid an incident. thank you.
Programmers life : manager : how long would it take you to implement a dialer for our customers alarm system in c++? programmer : do you have any requirements i can take a look at? manager : no, but it is simply a dialer, so come on now. programmer : i won't be able to give you an estimate if i don't know what it needs to do. manager : well the alarm system has a 2k eprom, so come on now. programmer : i can fill that eprom with zero's or ones with in 15 minutes for you, or does it need to do anything particular? manager : of course it does, you idiot , i just told you the customer need a dialer!!! programmer : hmmm, ok... programmer : do you have any requirements i can take a look at? manager : ???!!!
Two bytes meet. the first byte asks, “are you ill?” the second byte replies, “no, just feeling a bit off.”
How did the programmer program the first programming program? if he programmed the first programming program?