One of the greatest benefits of marriage is that you are told immediately about all the things you do wrong!
My wife has made me learn so many wonderful things in life. for example, you can easily spend 4 hours shopping for a dress that your wife wants to wear for her friend's wedding!
Whenever you have to make a decision, listen to your heart, then your brain & finally do what your wife tells you to do!
When you're wrong and you surrender, you're an honest man. when you're in doubt and you surrender, you're a wise man. when you're right and you surrender, you're a married man!
When a woman replies with 'ok' as a message, read through the last 200 messages you've sent to her and find your mistake!
Husband: did you read the newspaper? as per the latest research, it has been found that 15% of women take medicines for mental illness. wife: what's so special about this news? husband: this is a dangerous news. wife: why? husband: this means 85% of women are roaming around without taking medicines!
I made my wife angry again and as usual, i apologized. she said she'd forgive me if i prepare the dinner tonight. i really hope she likes maggi noodles!
The law of averages is all bullshit. i've been married for fifteen years and i haven't won an argument with my wife even once!
Me: i wish i could go back in time and live with my parents. wife: aww, so cute. you miss them right? me: i miss them. and they'd pay off all my bills too!