Marriage does not change a man much. before the wedding, he loves all the women on earth, after the wedding, it is just one less!
Marriage counselor: what's the problem? man: my wife needs help. every night, she's roaming from one bar to another. she has to stop it. marriage counselor: is she an alcoholic? man: no, she's looking for me!
Micro insult: husband: do you like a handsome husband or an intelligent one? wife: neither. i like you!
Wife: i had a worrying dream that someone kidnapped me. me: what's so worrying about it? ps: it seems i'll be sleeping on the sofa permanently!
A newly married husband thinks that his opinion matters so he shares it with his wife. an experienced husband knows that his opinion doesn't matter, keeps it to himself. a veteran husband knows that his opinion doesn't matter, but shares it to give her an opportunity to say, "he's wrong"!
Wife: i don't have enough words to explain how stupid you are. my brain: she's kidding bro, just give her a minute!