Bumped into a friend today, who got married the second time. i asked how's it going? he replied, "same virus bro, different mutation!"
While engaged: what is mine is yours and what is yours is mine. while married: your arm was on my half of the bed last night!
Send a man to the store to get 5 items, he returns with 4. send a woman to the store to get 5 items, she returns with 54! #marriagefacts
I need help! in the middle of an argument with my wife, she told me that i am right. what do i do next?
Wife: i got you these flowers to show you how i feel about you. husband: thanks, but i'm allergic to flowers. wife: that's the point!
I once dated a condemned witch. there was a lot at stake in the relationship, but now she's just an old flame!
A husband becomes suspicious when his wife is suddenly sad. a wife becomes suspicious when her husband is suddenly happy!
Yes. yes. yes. okay. yes. yes. yes. sorry. yes. yes. okay. okay. yes. sorry. yes. yes. okay. me having a telephonic conversation with my wife!