A man surfing tv channels asks his wife, "darling, may i watch t20 match?" wife: you better watch only the replay of gayle's innings of 175. that way, you might learn some porn!
An old married couple was sitting in their rocking chairs enjoying a beautiful sunset when the old man looked at his wife and said "fuck you!" a few minutes passed when the woman turned and said the same thing to her husband. after about half an hour of this the old man said "i'll never understand why kids today like this oral sex so much!"
A newly wedded husband to his wife after sex, "i'll be frank, you are not the first girl. wife: i'll also be frank, you still have to learn a lot!
What is the similarity between a swimming pool and a wife? for both, we pay high maintenance cost for the little time we spend in them!
A husband gets love bite on neck from his secretary. he goes home worried, allows his pet dog to jump on him and shouts, "he bit my neck". the wife removes bra and says, "see what he did to me!"
While performing the sex act, wife to her hubby, "you're just like a mobile." husband proudly: so you love my vibrations? wife: no no... the moment you go into the basement, your network fails!
You know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man's sex life? because women know if he'll eat one of those, he'll eat anything!
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. she takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "you know that fur coat you promised me? i bought it with the insurance money. you know the new car you promised me? i bought it with the insurance money." then she whispers, "you know that blowjob i promised you? well, here it comes..."