A share broker caught his wife in bed with her boyfriend, shocked he asked his wife, "what are you doing with him?" his wife replied, "darling, i've gone public!"
If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have? divorce proceedings, most likely!
How do you know when your wife is really dead? your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger!
On the 1st night after marriage: wife: please, let's spend our 1st night 'understanding' each other. husband: darling, something 'under' is already 'standing' for you! men will be men.
Husband asked his wife while performing: husband: honey, why do i get all my great ideas in bed only? wife: because at that time you're plugged into a genius!
I told my wife that wearing a mask is really uncomfortable. she laughed and told me to try wearing a bra for a day!
What is mutual understanding? wife: i love you. husband: kitne paise chahiye? husband: i love you. wife: ruko, bachhe soye nahi abhi!
I was so excited when my wife texted me that she wanted to be on top tonight. didn't have a clue that she was talking about the bunk bed that we bought last week!