Husband says to wife: my olympic condoms have arrived... i think i'll wear gold tonight. wife: why not wear silver and come second for a change!
Husband is praying before going to bed. wife: what are you praying for? husband: for guidance. wife: pray for hardness. leave guidance to me!
Last night, i told my husband, we should try some role reversal in bed. and the bastard said he had a headache!
Pappu meets his father in red light area. pappu: papa aap yahan? father: bus beta ab 200-300 rs ki cheez k liye teri maa k nakhre nahi sahe jate.
A man was charged with necrophilia (having sex with a dead woman). the judge said; i havn't seen such disgusting case in 20 years. can you give me one good reason why you did it? man: i can give 3 reasons.it' non of ur business, she was my wife and i didn't know she was dead as she always acted like that.
Man teases his ex-wife`s new husband: so, dude how was the second-hand stuff? new husband: not bad. after the first 3 inches, she was brand new.
Q: what's the grossest thing in the world? a: waking up after a night of oral sex with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth!
Why can't a man satisfy a woman completely? because he doesn't have a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash!
A mobile is like a woman: talks non-stop; costs a fortune; disturbs when u r busy; and when u need it urgently, there's no service.
A wise man once said you should treat your woman like a vacuum cleaner. once she stops sucking, change the fucking bag.
A lady goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. the doctor says, "i'm not sure i understand what you mean." she says, "well, the first 100% you can imagine. in addition, he burnt his tongue and broke his finger!"