Man 2 her fat wife: ‘do u wana lose 10 pounds of ugly fat in just 2 mins?’ wife:’ yes, why not. tell me wht’s d procedure?’ husband: ‘cut off ur head’
Man was complaining 2 a friend i’d it all money, a beautiful house, a big car, d luv of a pretty gal then its all gone friend: what happened? man: my wife found out
Clever husband a couple were arguing. wife: you dont like anybody in my family. husband: not true, i like your mother-in-law better than my mother-in-law!
Wife: wat r u thinking? husband: do u remember when ur dad caught us dating? wife’s heart melts, thinks its sweet of him 2 still remember that date husband: he pointed his gun at me & said either marry my daughter or go 2 jail for 20 years wife smiles ”yes” husband sighs n says: aaaaaaahhh! i would’ve been free today
Heaven husband:i hear dat husband & wife r not allowed 2 b 2gether in heaven,is it dat so? wife:yes,honey,dat’s y its called heaven
Fairy(to a 62 year old couple): i will grant you each a wish. wife: i want to travel around the world with my husband. the fairy waved her magic wand & ‘poof’ two tickets appeared in her hands. husband: i wish to have a wife 30 years younger to me. the fairy waved her magic wand & ‘poof’ the husband became 92 years old. moral: men who are ungrateful idiots should remember that fairies are females.
Whose phone.?!!! in a bar, a man attend da call of a ringing mobile. man: hello! wife: darling shall i buy 1 diamond ring? man: sure honey! wife: shall i use your credit card for crystal pendant? man: ok dear! friends: great to see that you love her so much! man: hmm! by the way, whose mobile is this?!? ;)
Wife hints 2 husband 4 a new car saying, “dear,buy me sumthing dat goes from 0 to 80 in 3 secs when im on it.” husband gifted her…. “a weighing machine”
Wife: dear, this computer is not working as per my command… husband: darling, that is computer, not husband….
Wife:-i will die. husband:- i will also die. wife:-why will you die? husband:- because i can’t bear that much happiness..:
Husband1: women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!! husband 2: why? husband 1: very simple… a woman does not have a wife..!