Suhagrat mein santa ne biwi se puchha: tumne shaadi se pehle kitni baar s*x kiya hai? biwi: kabhi nahi. santa: mere pass check karne ka meter hai. abhi daal ke check kar lunga. biwi: ek baar... vo bhi galti se. santa: jhooth mat bol, mere pass meter hai. mujhe maaf kar do... 10-15 baar kiya hai. santa: sach bata warna main meter laga raha hun. biwi: ja kanjra, laga le meter. jitni baar maine s*x kiya hai na... utne number toh tere meter mein bhi nahi honge.
Doctor= ye to sab upar wale ka karam hai, maine aapki jaan thode hi bachaai hai. mareez= thik hai doctor sahab, main fees upar wale ko hi de dunga.
Ajnabi rahna par kisi ka intezar mat karna, kisike pyar ke liye khud ko bekarar mat karna, achha saathi mile to haath thaam lena.... par dikhave ke liye kisi se pyaar mat karna!
Chalo hum phon ki kahni sonte hai apni zindgi ki wo kade sonan chahte hai har gf ki jabni hai paise dal do nhi to apke dost ki bari hai
Papa: beta batao jaan kaha se nikalti hai.? beta: khidki se. papa: wo kaise.? beta: kal raat didi hi keh rahi thi, jaan khidki se nikal jaao papa aa gye.
Judge: is ke dono kaan kaat do. santa: nahi main andha ho jaunga. judge: kaan kaatne se andhe kaise ho jaoge.? santa: main apna chashma kaha lagaunga.
Ramu ne daru pike apne apko aaine me dekha.... ~ or ~ ~ bola ~ yaara isko to kahi dekha h o yaad aaya ye to wahi kamina h..... jo shadi k album me teri bivi k sath tha.
Doctor patient se: tum bahut jyada bimar ho chuke the. mein to yahi kahunga ki tum apni aantarik shakti ke karan hi thik hue ho. patient : thik h doctor ji. mujhe aasha h, aap apni fees ka bil bnate samay bhi iss baat ka dhyan rakhenge.
Office mein kaam karne wali recipenist silk ki ek dress layi jo kaafi patli thi, aur apne office friend ko dikha rahi thi ye dekho mere new silk ki dress. pankaj : tum bhi kamal karti ho yaar ye to transparent h aar-paar ka sab kuch dikh raha h. reception wali ladki: tum bhi ajib ho pankaj, mein jab ise pehnungi to aar-paar kaise dikhega.
Judge ne ek chor ko ghurte hue dekha aur bola, ki tum to 3 saal pehle bhi adalat mein pesh hue the, or yahi pent chori karne ke chakkar mein. chor: ji ha hujur ek pent aur kitne saal chalegi.
Judge : tumne chori kyu ki santa? santa : nahi hujur. judge: phir ghar mein ku ghuse the? santa : babli ne bulaya tha uski maa ne dekh liya to chor-chor chilane lagi.
Santo- gusse mein akar babli se kaha tu bhaiya ki shadi mein ku nahi aayi? babli: par mujhe card to diya hi nahi tha. santo: gusse ke sath card mein maine likha to tha, card mile ya na mile par tu shadi mein jarur aana.