There are three blondes stranded on an island. suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. the first blonde asks to be intelligent. instantly, she is turned into brown haired woman and she swims off the island. the next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. so, instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. the black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. the third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. the fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump. when the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete. when the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away. when the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "i don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."
A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. which made it to the ground first? the brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box. she keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that. the blonde replies "my computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".
A blonde was down on her luck. in order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. she went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, told him, "ive kidnapped you." she then wrote a note saying, " ive kidnapped your kid. tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. signed, a blonde." the blonde pinned the note to the kids shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. the next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. the blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, " how could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
A blonde, brunette, and redhead went to a church to donate money. the brunette draws a circle around her and throws up all her money. she says that whatever lands inside the circle is for god, and whatever lands outside of the circle she keeps. the redhead then draws a line, stands on it, and throws up all of her money. she said that whatever lands on the right side of the line is for god, and whatever lands on the left side she keeps. the blonde throws up her money, and yells, "god, whatever you catch is yours, and whatever you don't i get to keep."
Q: what did the blonde say about blonde jokes? a: she said they were pretty good, but they might offend some puerto ricans. q: what did the blonde think of the new computer? a: she didn't like it because she couldn't get mtv. q: what do ufo's and smart blondes have in common? a: you keep hearing about them, but never see any. q: how do you make a blond laugh on monday mornings? a: tell them a joke on friday night! q: how do you describe the perfect blonde? a: 3 feet tall, and a flat head to rest your beer on. q: how do you confuse a blonde? a: you don't. they're born that way. q: why do blondes hate m&ms;? a: they're too hard to peel. q: how do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? a: you find m&m; shells all over the kitchen floor. q: what job function does a blonde have in an m&m; factory? a: proofreading. q: do you know why the blonde got fired from the m&m; factory? a: for throwing out the w's. q: why don't blondes like making kool-aid? a: because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
New inventions by blondes: the water-proof towel glow in the dark sunglasses solar powered flashlight submarine screen door a book on how to read inflatable dart board a dictionary index powdered water pedal powered wheel chair water proof tea bags zero proof alcohol reusable ice cubes skinless bananas do it yourself roadmap
A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. he advances towards her when the bartender says to him, "don't waste your time on that one. she's a lesbian." the blonde goes over to her anyway and says, "so which part of lesbia are you from?"
Why did the blonde get fired from her job working at an m&m; factory? she kept throwing out all of the w's!