A couple were going out for the evening. they'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. the taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. they don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. the wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver " he's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." a few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab - "sorry i took so long" he says, "stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and i had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. he turned on the jockey. "flaherty, could you not have raced faster?" sure i could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse.
2 chuhe bike par ja rhe the.. ek sher ke bachche ne unse lift maangi...!!!.. !!...lift pls...!! toh bike par aage baitha hua chuha bola :-- soch le...phir teri maa kahi ye na kahe ki din bhar tu gundo ke sath ghumta hai....!!!!
There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he'd never left it on its own. but eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. so he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock. but he was never ever, ever to touch its fur. so the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, why can't i touch its fur? as their didn't seem to be anything wrong with it. every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldnt understand until, about a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla. he passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur. suddenly the gorilla went ape shit and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into some one else's sports car and drove off. in the rear-view mirror, he could see the gorilla in its own sports car, driving right behing him. he drove for two hours until the engine began to splutter and the car just stopped. he jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone's front garden and up the apple tree. he turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest. the man jumped down and ran back in to the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he'd lost the gorilla. the man ran into an alleyway then, suddenly, he saw a giant shaddow coming down the street ahead. the gorilla! it came to the end of the alley, stood and looked straight into the bloodshoot eyes of the man and came towards him slowly. this time there was no escape. as the gorilla neared him, the man began to feel faint. the giant beast came face to face with him, raised its mighty hand and said, tag! you're it!
Q: what do you get if you cross a alligator with a flower? a: i don't know, but i'm not going to smell it!
Q: did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers? a: it's filled with liti-gators.