Money comes like a turtle and goes like a rabbit. if a turtle loses it's shell is it naked or homeless? some turtles possess the ability to absorb oxygen directly from the water in which they swim.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of japan when they noticed a whaling ship. the male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. he said to the female whale, "lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." they tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. the male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." at this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "look," she said, "i went along with the blow job, but i absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
Q : whats the difference between a smart republican and a unicorn? a : nothing, they're both fictional characters.
Q : how did the politician win the election? a :" he promised to balance the budget, rein in the banks and put a unicorn in every backyard!