Keep calm and be a unicorn. are you a unicorn cause your my fantasy. chuck norris coined the phrase, "i could eat a horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
Q: how do you tell the difference between a walrus and an orange? a: put your arms around it and squeeze it. if you don't get orange juice, it's a walrus.
Q: how do you know a walrus is under your bed? a: your nose gets cold because it's squished against the top of your igloo.
I man with a walrus on a leash flopping along behind him walked into a bar. he pointed with his cane at the patrons and announced: "this is an amazing canadian trained walrus. buy me a drink and i will show you the most amazing thing! she's fantastic!" so a guy buys him a drink. the man looks down at the walrus. the walrus looks back at the man. then the man whacks the walrus on the head with a cane! the walrus immediately sits up on her tail and unzips the man's pants. she pulls out his tent pole and services it, rolling her eyes and using just a little tusk. as the man groans with pleasure, the walrus cleans him off with a napkin and rezips his pants. "now, would any of you like to try it? just buy me another beer," the man says. one fellow raises his hand. "sure, man, i'll try it...but please...don't hit me with that stick!"