Santa: I think I may be a talented photographer. Banta: What makes you believe so? Santa: I took just one picture with my camera phone and it asked me if I wanted to open a gallery!
Santa: My wife sent me a blank text. Banta: But why would she do that? Santa: Because she's not talking to me!
Santa: A guy broke into my apartment last week. He didn't take my TV but just the remote. Banta: Lucky you! Santa: Lucky, my ass! Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick bastard!
Santa to Banta, "Every night my wife puts a mudpack on her face and slices of cucumber over her eyes". Banta: Does it work? Santa: No, it doesn't work. I can still tell, it's her!
Santa: I can't seem to connect with my wife these days. Banta: It certainly leaves an emotional void? Santa: Not really, She keeps ducking every time I swing!