Rajnikanth doesn`t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
A worried Santa to the local police, "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail". That's against the law, isn't it?" "It certainly is", the Inspector replied. "Do you know who's been writing them?" "Yeah', replied Santa. "My girlfriend's husband!"