"I beg your pardon", said Santa while returning to his seat at the end of the interval, "but did I step on your foot when I left?" "Yes, you did." Santa: Oh, good, that means I'm in the right row!
Drunk Santa is staggering along the street with one foot on the kerb and the other in the gutter." A police officer stops him and says: You're drunk! Thank God! says "Santa, I thought I was crippled"!