I need an app that warns me about what my wife is up to when

Last night, i accidentally woke up in the middle of my sleep and saw my wife holding a pi.......

One day a wife of a hunter found him with his lover. she took a gun and aimed it at her husband's testicles.
.......

A share broker caught his wife in bed with her boyfriend, shocked he asked his wife,.......

A good wife tries to s.......

I'm not saying my wife is ugly but...
she's just been next door to .......

My wife and i were having an argument last night. i was right about something and she .......