Have you heard they're using lawyers instead of rats in laboratories these days? there are three reasons for this: 1. lawyers reproduce faster. 2. the scientists don't get attached to the lawyers. 3. a lawyer will do things a rat wouldn't even consider.
And god said, "let there be satan, so people don't blame everything on me. and let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on satan".
Good news: a busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. the bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. bad news: there were three empty seats.
A lawyer wrote in his will, "give all my estate to fools and madmen. from such i had it, and to such i give it again."