Pappu Ek Din Sharab Pikar Ghar Aaya Aur Apane Pita Se Bachne Ke Liye Laptop Khol Ke Baith Gaya; Santa: Pi Ke Aaya Hai Kya? Pappu: Nahi Pita Ji; Santa: To Haramkhor Sutakes Khol Ke Kyon Baitha Hain!
Santa: Yaar Main Do Mushkilon Me Fas Gaya Hu! Banta: Vo Kaise? Santa: Bivi Mekap Kare To Kharcha Bardasht Nahin Hota Aur N Kare To Biwi Bardasht Nahin Hoti!
Banta: Yaar Kal Maine Tumhe Kitni Baar Call Kiya Tune Fone Ku Nahin Uthaya? Santa: Kyon Uthau? 30 Rupaye Dekar Jo Gana Lagwaya Hai Vah Kya Tera Baap Sunega!
Santa: Doctor Sahab Kya Aap Meri Sharaab Chhuda Sakte Hain? Doctor: Ha Ha Kyon Nahin! Santa: To Thik Hai Pulis Ne Meri 200 Botal Sharab Pakad Li Hain Aap Jaldi Se Use Chhuda Dijie!
Santa Aur Banta Ek Shadi Men Gaye! Santa: Lo Kuch Din Pahle Hi God Men Khela Karti Thi Aur Aaj Iski Shaadi Hai! Banta: Kya Aap Dulhan Ke Baap Ho? Santa: Nahin Dulhan Ka Boss Hu!
Banta: Filmi Jindagi Aur Asli Jindagi Men Kya Antar Hai? Santa: Filmon Men Bahut Mushkilon Ke Bad Shadi Hoti Hai Aur Asli Jindagi Men Shadi Ke Baad Bahut Mushkil Hoti Hai!
Jab Santa Ne Pyar Me Dhokha Khaya To Banta Ne Usse Pucha "Abe Tumne Usmen Kya Dekha?" Santa: Uski Ek Aankh Itni Sundar Thi Ki Uski Dusri Aak Bhi Usi Ko Dekh Rahi Thi!
Bhikhari: Kya Baat Hai Sahab Pahle Aap Sau Rupaye Dete The Bad Men Pachas Fir Pachchis Ab Sirf Das Dete Hain? Santa: Pahle Main Kunwara Tha To Main Sau Deta Tha! Fir Meri Shadi Ho Gayi To Pachas; Ek Bachcha Ho Gaya To Pachchis; Ab Do Bachche Hain To Das Deta Hun! Bhikhari: Vah Sahab Aapke Pure Parivar Ka Kharcha To Mere Paison Se Chal Raha Hai!
Santa: Tumse Shadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Fayda Hua Hai! Jito: Vo Kya? Santa: Mujhe Mere Gunahon Ki 'Saja' Jite Ji Mil Rahi Hai!
Santa Apni Salary Ka Chek Lekker Bos Ke Panhucha Aur Bola "Mere Vetan Men Se Do Sau Rupaye Kam Hain"! Bos: Pichhle Mahine Jab Mainne Tumhen Do Sau Rupaye Jyada Ka Chek Diya Tha Tab To Tumne Koi Shikayat Nahin Ki Thi! Santa: Thik Hai Vah Aapki Pahli Galti Thi Isliye Maine Nazar Andaz Kar Di! Lekin Agar Aap Baar-Bar Galti Karenge To Mujhe Aapko Kahna Hi Padega Na!
Santa : Log Puchhte Hain Kya Yah Sarkar Giregi? Banta : Tumhare Kya Khyal Hai? Santa: Main Puchta Hu Ki Aur Kitna Giregi?
Pravachan Sunkar Lauti Jito Ne Santa Se Kaha "Baba Ji Kah Rahe The Ki Ramrajya Men Sher Aur Bakari Ek Hi Ghat Par Pani Piya Karte The! Aisa Kaise Ho Sakta Hai Bhala?" Santa: Ho Kyon Nahin Sakta Kya Main Tumhare Saath Nahin Rahta?