Q : how do you know your kitchen floor is dirty? a : the slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads "clean me"!
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. it was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. in the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. this happened all the way through the film. after the film had ended, i decided to go and speak to the man. "that's the most amazing thing i've seen," i said. "that dog really seemed to enjoy the film." the man turned to me and said, "yeah, it is. he hated the book."
Q : what did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late? a : your spinning me a yarn here!