Pappu: dad, aapne kaha tha na ki, mehnat itni karo ki safalta shor machaye. santa: haan. pappu: meri girlfriend ko beta hua hai!
Teacher: what is the best piece of advice you have ever given to your friend? pappu: gaand mara, saale!
Pappu: dad, i want to be like you. santa (feeling proud): that's so nice, son. so you want to be an engineer? pappu: no dad! i too wanna fuck sapna aunty... she is so fucking hot!
Pappu: tumhe kaisa boyfriend chahiye? girl: jo mujhe time de, pyaar de, respect de, appreciation de... tumhein kaisi girlfriend chahiye? pappu: jo mujhe de!
Maths teacher to pappu: if you have ₹ 2000/- in one pocket & ₹ 2000/- in another pocket, what would you think? pappu: oh main kite apne peyo di pant ta nahi pa layi!
Girl: tu hasta nahi hai, kya? pappu: kyun? girl: haste hue koi photo nahi dekhi, teri. pappu: tu nahati nahi, kya?
Teacher: you have 500 rupees, your friend messages you and asks 200 rupees, and your girlfriend messages you and asks 300 rupees. how much you have left? pappu: 500 rupees and 2 unread messages!
Pappu: scientist log apne ghar mein door bell kyun nahi lagwate? bunty: kyun? pappu: kyunki woh 'no-bell' prize jeetna chahte hain!
Teacher: hindi mein anuvad karo - there was a fine line between amitabh and jaya. pappu: amitabh aur jaya ke beech ek mast rekha thi!